Redemption?

Ok, so I talked to Gary again last night.
I feel better, but that happens.

This last month has been SO STRESSFUL for our relationship. I hate that my posts are not positive. They used to be.

He is coming home today instead of tomorrow---I knew that would happen. I made plans with my friend Carrie for tonight. He wasn't supposed to be home. He sounded disappointed when I said I was busy--I DON'T GET IT!

I wish there was an easy way to be in a relationship.

Happy Thanksgiving

1. Does anyone actually read this ? I haven't had a comment in days!

2. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm stuffed. I didn't even eat any stuffing.

3. Inconsiderate. That's my latest description of my little bf. I had all of those tests yesterday, cried for a week about them, made him feel the LUMP, and he didn't even call me to see how they went. We talk every single day. Yesterday, our communication consisted of me sending a text wondering if he had made it safe to his Thanksgiving destination and him saying yes and then him sending me a text much later in the evening to say that he had joined the Legion. (This last part tells me that he was drinking there to celebrate the membership!) Finally, around 11:00, I sent him a text that said, "Can you believe that my bf didn't even call me to see how my tests went?" This morning, first thing, I get a call that starts with "I'm so sorry." He tried to say that he didn't know I would get results --LIKE IT MATTERS--when someone who is 31 gets a mammogram for the first time, it does not matter if she gets results. I cried for a week about these tests. I told him on Tuesday that he makes me feel insecure because he doesn't seem to care (which he debated) and THEN HE DOESN'T CALL ME! He was so apologetic. Finally, he said, "You are mad." I said, "Not mad, hurt and ...." He said, "disappointed." HELL YES! Is it wrong to want a boyfriend who understands your fear and wants to reassure you and check on you! I AM NOT NEEDY, but this was important!

4. I feel like all I do lately is write about how I don't feel good in this relationship. I've been thinking lately that maybe I need to take a break. I love him and want to be with him, but do I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? The answer is NO. Actually the answer is "I DESERVE MORE!"

5. I think I'm going to put up my tree and put the lights on it, then take a little nap.

Happy Thanksgiving

Medical Questions ?

Ok, just got home from the mammogram.

The doctor who read the pictures says, "Well, nothing showed up and if you aren't feeling anything (which I told him that I felt it after my doctor pointed it out) then I won't order an ultrasound. If your doctor wants to do that, she can. I think it is normal. " SO--this confuses me a little. My doctor pointed it out and I do feel it.

I see my doctor next Wednesday. I'm going to say this to her: "If you felt it and I felt it, why is there nothing on the pictures?"

Denise Austin - HATE HER!

OK, so I'm on this "Reader Advisory Panel" for Women's Health magazine.
I participate in discussions about women's issues.
I just got a new fitness DVD in the mail. I'm to try it three times and fill out a questionnaires. I just did it for the first time. I haven't done Denise for a while. She is good....but so perky that it seems she might be possessed? Have you seen those eyes? She does this one rotating move on a fitness ball and is moaning these words of encouragement.....I thought I was watching a porno! I know it sounded like one!