OK, I've cried and prayed. I feel a calmness now. I have some perspective.
He is doing just what he did to me in July....Close, at least.
He said it last night...."Things were so intense and going so fast."
He likes me--no, he LOVES me and that scares him!
So, now, I am going to just pray and work on that for myself and make him BEG TO KISS ME!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.
All I wanted was to know that I am important to him.
I told him that.
He felt bad.
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
I cried some more.
I'm so tired of crying.
He says, "Well, I didn't want to insist that you see me tonight. I wanted to take you out to dinner." At 5:04 pm I got a text message that said, "you eat yet?" My friends had badgered me all day -- wanted to make sure that I wasn't alone tonight. At 5:00 I had agreed to have dinner with one of them. When I told him that I had plans, he said, "Ok." HE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY OK! He is supposed to say that he had plans to take me out to dinner! I told him that. His response? "I'm not the type of person who says 'No, I wanted to be with you.'" I said, "Well, it made me feel like I'm not important to you."
This sucks.
I told him that.
He felt bad.
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
I cried some more.
I'm so tired of crying.
He says, "Well, I didn't want to insist that you see me tonight. I wanted to take you out to dinner." At 5:04 pm I got a text message that said, "you eat yet?" My friends had badgered me all day -- wanted to make sure that I wasn't alone tonight. At 5:00 I had agreed to have dinner with one of them. When I told him that I had plans, he said, "Ok." HE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY OK! He is supposed to say that he had plans to take me out to dinner! I told him that. His response? "I'm not the type of person who says 'No, I wanted to be with you.'" I said, "Well, it made me feel like I'm not important to you."
This sucks.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Bad Influence
Ok, so I'm feeling pretty bad about myself.
He has been a little grouchy lately.
I was getting the feeling that he didn't want to be with me.
I called him a little while ago. We had some small chit chat. Finally, I asked him if he was going to watch "the game" alone. He asked me if I wanted to watch it with him. I said, "Umm. Maybe. I get the feeling that you are feeling smothered by me." He said, "A little."
We went on to talk and he says he feels like he isn't focusing on God. He made sure to say that he wasn't totally blaming me (which means he is partially blaming me, I guess). He kept saying that he doesn't want our relationship to be like everyone else's. I made him tell me specifically what he meant. It all comes down to SEX. He acknowledged that he sends me mixed messages. Of course, I cried. I didn't want to, but the tears came out. I felt bad for my part in this and I felt bad because I didn't want it to change.
He wants to get a Christian dating book. I told him that I hate those books because they aren't designed for adults! They are written for teenagers and some of the things in there are unrealistic for adults.
So, now, I have a headache and I don't know what to do. To make matters worse, tomorrow is my birthday and I don't know if I'll see him. AND I don't know if I want to.
He kept asking if I was mad. Not mad, hurt.
Dating is hard.
He has been a little grouchy lately.
I was getting the feeling that he didn't want to be with me.
I called him a little while ago. We had some small chit chat. Finally, I asked him if he was going to watch "the game" alone. He asked me if I wanted to watch it with him. I said, "Umm. Maybe. I get the feeling that you are feeling smothered by me." He said, "A little."
We went on to talk and he says he feels like he isn't focusing on God. He made sure to say that he wasn't totally blaming me (which means he is partially blaming me, I guess). He kept saying that he doesn't want our relationship to be like everyone else's. I made him tell me specifically what he meant. It all comes down to SEX. He acknowledged that he sends me mixed messages. Of course, I cried. I didn't want to, but the tears came out. I felt bad for my part in this and I felt bad because I didn't want it to change.
He wants to get a Christian dating book. I told him that I hate those books because they aren't designed for adults! They are written for teenagers and some of the things in there are unrealistic for adults.
So, now, I have a headache and I don't know what to do. To make matters worse, tomorrow is my birthday and I don't know if I'll see him. AND I don't know if I want to.
He kept asking if I was mad. Not mad, hurt.
Dating is hard.
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