Considering...

Ok, I'm considering moving the big date up to the week between Christmas and New Year's. Although I must admit that I like the anticipation much better than the rejection that usually comes from a blind date.

Eh..we'll see.

I already blogged today, but....

Good things that came from dating Gary:
1. Realizing that I am good at being a couple.
2. I have to be true to myself.
3. Sexy Victoria Secret underwear ARE SUPER! (I thought $6 for a 6 pack at Walmart was good, but nu uh--these are fabulous!)
4. It is OK to love sports....men like that.
5. It is sexy that I like sports.
6. Some men find it sexy when you come on strong!

I guess those are good things....I'll add more as I think of them!

What's the big whoop de doo?

OK, so while I'm still loving and missing Gary every single day.....I know that I totally need a distraction....MAN WISE.

In August, a friend from work called and asked to set me up with his cousin. (I had asked this friend months before if he knew any good guys.) At the time that he called, I was seeing Gary, so I had to say No.

So, last week, I asked him if his cousin was still single. He said YES and LET'S SET SOMETHING UP. He wants to go bowling. (I think that 60-70% of my first dates have been bowling, but whatever, I like it.) I said that I wanted to wait until after January 1 because the holidays are a tough time to start dating someone. (Plus, I would only compare him to Gary and that's not fair.)

I'm slowly gathering data. He is 30....went to Mercer H.S. (so no matter what, is a decent guy)... owns a home (I know this from my Google search of him).... drives a truck... likes to hunt and fish... is a construction worker/drives big equipment.....the last part had me slightly concerned because I've gone out with guys like this before and been judged because I'm educated. However, I was willing to give it a shot. I was nervous and wondering what he thought. So, I sent Jeff (the guy I work with) an email asking if Marc was up for bowling. The response? I COULDN'T STOP SMILING......

"Absolutely, He can't wait! The first time I mentioned you to him, he got excited, but then you were already dating someone. So he is happy just to get a chance. "

I CAN'T WAIT! YEAH! This may be just what I needed!

Disappointed and getting mad

He is so dumb. He doesn't know what he is missing.
Another person said today, "What is wrong with that guy?"

Amen.

Going on 12 or 13 days

Acrostic

Maybe I'll never find someone better
Although I've been told otherwise
Really not looking forward to more blind dates
Yet I'm already being set up

Almost want to tell him
Like it would make him jealous
I want him to beg forgiveness
Cause I'd take him back in a heartbeat
Eric, Marc, or Gary?

20 Questions

Borrowed from Jackass Jen, a random girl who commented on my blog and now I check hers regularly....

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I've never had egg nog.
2. Did you ever do anything for Santa? Nope.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Well, growing up we always had white. I wanted colored, but now my roommate has colored (half burned out) and I wish we had white. Go figure.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? I always wanted to.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Thanksgiving weekend. This year, Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Stuffing.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? I loved Christmas at my favorite uncle's. The windows were steamy from all of the hot food, it smelled delicious and he was wearing shorts because he was always too hot!
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was in about 4th grade and my younger sister told me. She ruined lots of stuff--she even gave me the chicken pox!
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We used to open everything but the stocking on Christmas Eve.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With ornaments filled with memories. Some are so ugly. My mom always called that the "memory tree."
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it. Love the first snow, love when it is deep, hate it in March and April.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Nope.
14. What's the most exciting thing about the holidays for you? Nothing.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? It might be the cheeseball.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Don't have one.
17. What tops your tree? An angel ornament.
18. Which do you prefer give or receive? I'd rather give. I never get what I really want.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? The Little Drummer Boy, that David Bowie duet one.
20. Candy Canes? Overrated. I like just one a year.....in hot chocolate.

I just don't know.

So, I know that in order to move on, I have to start thinking about someone new. Not that I'm ready to date, but I have to think about it.

First, I love Gary. If I ever want there to be a reconciliation, then I need to NOT BE PSYCHO. I need to give him the space that he needs to work through his issues.

A guy I work with wanted to fix me up with his cousin. He asked me soon after I started dating Gary. Last night, I sent him an email asking about the cousin. Today, we decided that we'll go out in January. I chose Jan because 1. I'm not ready yet and 2. it is hard to meet someone at the holiday time. Awkward.

Then, Gary called me tonight. He wanted to know about my doctor's visits. We talked for like 20 minutes. It was really, really good. It made me feel good that he still cares about me. It also made me realize that I still love him. I need to let him realize what he is missing. I need to be charming and beautiful and smart and let him pant. I can do it, I can do it!