Date # 2

OK, we went out again tonight.
"We are Marshall" and Eat'n Park.

I told him that I am not ready to meet his son tomorrow. I told him that I never dated anyone with a kid and that I want to take that REALLY slow. He seemed to understand that.

I let him kiss me.

I told Tracy tonight : "This guy is going to say he loves me in 2 weeks." She said, "You are so right!"

So many thoughts

Ok. I just got home. We did dinner, bowling, the bar (connected to bowling alley), and then Kings for coffee. He is cute. Tall, blonde, goatee, broad. Country. Boots & a baseball cap. Used to ride bulls.

Divorced. Seven year old son named Garrett (I said country.)

We had fun and had a nice time talking.

He asked me to go to a New Year's Eve party...then told me that his son will be there. THEN - he asked me to go out tomorrow night, too.

I need some time to process this, but right now I'm getting the vibe that he is LONELY! I liked him, but I'm not ready to spend my entire weekend with him.

Tom Caves asked me today if he is a Christian. I said that I didn't know. We were talking about tattoos tonight and I told him that one of mine is of the trinity. He said, "What's that?" No problem, I tell him it is for the father, the son, and the holy ghost. He says, "Oh, I didn't know." So, I'm guessing he is not a Christian.

I need more time to process. Right now I'm cursing Gary. I don't think that I'm ready to date someone because the whole time I kept forcing myself.

Tomorrow will be a good chance to talk some more. Maybe he'll grow on me.
For now, I must sleep.

Nervous

Nervous, nervous, nervous.

bowling scores

Tuesday night I rolled 109, 127, and 155.
Tonight, I rolled 124, 142, and 181.

Can't wait for tomorrow!

D-A-T-E

Daring to
Allow someone
To get to know
Everything about me

I have a date tomorrow.
We're going bowling and to dinner.
Marc is his name.
I CAN'T WAIT!

No Sex and the City

OK, so I sat in my Weight Watchers meeting and cried today.
My leader thought I was crying about my 6 pound weight gain.
(did I mention that there were only 4 people at the meeting?)

I wasn't crying about the weight gain. (Although I should--6 pounds in 6 days--come on!)
What was I crying about?

MEN.
Will I ever find someone who loves me and wants to be with me, yet will wait to have sex with me, yet loves to drink beer? I was crying because I was crying. I'm unhappy with my dating life, I'm unhappy at work, I'm unhappy with my church. I am such an emotional mess. I have to do something to get over this. But, what? I'll tell you what ISN'T working--eating, that's for sure. I will say that I'm thinking about seeing a counselor. I'm not talking about my preacher... he has an agenda--as does any minister. I'm talking about finding a "talking doctor" to go to. My insurance covers it.

It also has me thinking about New Year's Resolutions.
I'm thinking about giving up men for the new year; taking a year off. I don't know what that would prove, but it might make me focus on more important things. I'm also thinking of imposing a year long bedtime for myself. I'm thinking 9:00. Is it possible to be in bed by 9:30 for 365 days in a row? I'm not so sure.

What is your resolution?

Bowling

OK, so Tracy and I went bowling.
Two reasons:
1. To use the bowling ball that Gary got me and not feel bad about it.
2. To practice up before my big date with MARC.

It was fun. I bowled a 109, 127, 157. Roll on.

Then, we went to a local watering hole. I had an "electric lemonade" which knocked me on my ass! It was fun and I didn't like the taste of it, but MAN it was ELECTRIC.

Gary and I had a fight today, but I'll blog about it later.

Contemplating

It has been very close to a month since the break-up, and I am finding that I've not taken it very well. I wanted to keep my dignity and wait for him to realize how dumb he is. When I call him or text him, I'm not giving him that chance. I haven't quite closed the gap between heartbroken ex girlfriend and psycho, but I've found myself teetering on the edge.

I want to be able to say that I've done nothing wrong.

Yesterday, Christmas Day, all that I wanted was to talk to him. I wanted him to call me. So, later in the day, I sent a text. He responded a few times, and then we were done. I was too proud to call.

He is my measuring stick. I went to a party on Friday. There was a single guy there who people have wanted to fix me up with. I was friendly and tried to be open about it. The whole time, I kept thinking about how he wasn't Gary. I was comparing him and his traits to Gary. Will it always be like this?

Merry Day After Christmas.

L-O-V-E

Leaving yourself
Open and
Vulnerable
Entirely

I love Christmas on Christmas Eve

My sister and bro-in-law got me:
Two beautiful pairs of silver earrings
A wooden replica of Beaver Stadium to add to my PSU collection
Cool, thick socks

My parents got me:
3 lb weights
Mary Kay brush set
2 sets of towels (including the BIG bath sheets that I LOVE)
Flannel sheets....with these cute penguins on them
A fuzzy green blanket for my bed
Some weird soaps
A shop vac!

I think that I got every single thing on my Christmas list!
I'm so thankful.
Oh wait, I just checked. I got everything but the subscription to InStyle magazine, I guess I"ll have to suck it up and get that for myself! ;)

Amen!