Mad
Angry
Ranting and raving
Yearning to yell
Annoyed
Livid
Infuriated
Cross
Enraged
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
How to react...
So, he is supposed to call me in a few days.
I hope he doesn't. I can't be just friends. I told him from the start, ALL OR NOTHING.
When he does, what do I say? I cannot act like the last 5 months haven't happened. I cannot cry and beg him to reconsider. (Like I would do that, anyway.)
I guess there really isn't anything TO say. If I yell, all that does is make me look bad. If I don't say anything, well then, he can't say anything bad about me. That's really what I want....him to be the idiot who doesn't know what he gave up. NO--I want him to be the idiot who kicks himself for what he gave up.
I hope he doesn't. I can't be just friends. I told him from the start, ALL OR NOTHING.
When he does, what do I say? I cannot act like the last 5 months haven't happened. I cannot cry and beg him to reconsider. (Like I would do that, anyway.)
I guess there really isn't anything TO say. If I yell, all that does is make me look bad. If I don't say anything, well then, he can't say anything bad about me. That's really what I want....him to be the idiot who doesn't know what he gave up. NO--I want him to be the idiot who kicks himself for what he gave up.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
acrostic
Mourning the loss of a friendship/relationship
Angry at him for not seeing my value
Really destroyed
Yearning to be loved
Always left out
Loves, but not loved
Injured heart
Can’t understand
Entirely broken hearted
Angry at him for not seeing my value
Really destroyed
Yearning to be loved
Always left out
Loves, but not loved
Injured heart
Can’t understand
Entirely broken hearted
My heart is broken....
Please send hate mail to garyaharrah@yahoo.com
Make the subject: You stupid idiot.
Make the message say: You have no idea what you have just tossed away. You will never, never, never find someone better than Mary Alice. You won't get her back either. And all that crap you were saying about valuing the friendship and hoping it continues...? Kiss it goodbye, too because she will not be friends with you after you have broken her heart. Another thing...don't think that she bought that shit you were selling about how you don't like how you were treating her so you didn't want to do it anymore. You were right about one thing - she doesn't deserve to be treated like this!
I don't like having a broken heart.
Make the subject: You stupid idiot.
Make the message say: You have no idea what you have just tossed away. You will never, never, never find someone better than Mary Alice. You won't get her back either. And all that crap you were saying about valuing the friendship and hoping it continues...? Kiss it goodbye, too because she will not be friends with you after you have broken her heart. Another thing...don't think that she bought that shit you were selling about how you don't like how you were treating her so you didn't want to do it anymore. You were right about one thing - she doesn't deserve to be treated like this!
I don't like having a broken heart.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Good News? Bad News? News News?
Ok, went to the doctor.
1. Blood tests came back fine.....my hormones are good. (?)
2. Ultrasound came back....3.3 cm cyst on remaining ovary. Will watch for 3 months and have another ultrasound.
3. Mammogram came back....lumps were just dense cells.
4. Had the pap smear today.....wasn't easy....apparently a "tilted cervix" makes life difficult. The doctor THINKS she got what she needs. I need to call back in week (if I don't hear) to see if she was able to get the right stuff. If yes, and results were good, I can start birth control pills to regulate my menses---and avoid pregnancy, should Gary change his mind. If no, I have to go to a specialist who knows how to deal with weirdo cervixes.
Good news? Bad news? You decide.
1. Blood tests came back fine.....my hormones are good. (?)
2. Ultrasound came back....3.3 cm cyst on remaining ovary. Will watch for 3 months and have another ultrasound.
3. Mammogram came back....lumps were just dense cells.
4. Had the pap smear today.....wasn't easy....apparently a "tilted cervix" makes life difficult. The doctor THINKS she got what she needs. I need to call back in week (if I don't hear) to see if she was able to get the right stuff. If yes, and results were good, I can start birth control pills to regulate my menses---and avoid pregnancy, should Gary change his mind. If no, I have to go to a specialist who knows how to deal with weirdo cervixes.
Good news? Bad news? You decide.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Dumb, Dumb, Dumb
So, once again, I tried to kiss Gary and he kissed me once and then turned his head.
I said, "why, why do you do that?"
He said, "What?"
I said, "Kiss me and then turn your head. It makes me feel like you don't want to."
He said, "It isn't that."
I said, "well, it makes me feel like you don't like me."
He said, "OH."
Could he seriously be so dumb as to think that by him "holding out" for the last 4 weeks that I wouldn't feel rejected?
I can't believe that I feel like the teenage boy whose girlfriend is a tease.
I said, "why, why do you do that?"
He said, "What?"
I said, "Kiss me and then turn your head. It makes me feel like you don't want to."
He said, "It isn't that."
I said, "well, it makes me feel like you don't like me."
He said, "OH."
Could he seriously be so dumb as to think that by him "holding out" for the last 4 weeks that I wouldn't feel rejected?
I can't believe that I feel like the teenage boy whose girlfriend is a tease.
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