Another sleep over

I don't have keys to his place because he doesn't lock the doors.

I have just a toothbrush there.

He has nothing here.

I slept over again last night. It wasn't the plan. I was getting ready to come home and my roommate called to pick a fight. She can't be happy for me that I found someone who makes me happy and wants to be with me. I invited her and her fiance to a night out in 2 weeks and she feels like I only invited her because I was already going and it would be easy to combine. I have invited her out several times and she has turned me down. When I asked for this night, even, she was so wishy washy. I'm so ready for her to get married and move out. Then, she'll be Justin's problem.

What constitutes "living together?"

OK, so I'm getting a bad rep for being a poor blogger.
(Or LAZY, according to Question Girl.)

Here's the thing. He doesn't have the Internet and this will be the first night that I've slept in my own bed since last Wednesday. (I KNOW!)

I am sleeping here tonight. He is coming to visit, but will not sleep over. There are 2 reasons for this: his dogs and my roommate.

He thinks that a couple should live together before they get married. I do not. He thinks we're living together because we had 5 consecutive sleep overs. I think I was just snuggling up to him, putting last night's clothes on, and coming home for a shower and work.

Regardless, I need to stop it. I do love sleeping next to someone.

He met my friends on Saturday. They all liked him. I drank A LOT and my friends were quite worried that he would take advantage of me. He didn't. They said, "We like him, but we just didn't know yet if he would take advantage." One friend said, "Don't let him slip away!"

I met his family on Sunday. They were really nice. They like me a lot-- because I am making him "settle down." I really haven't done anything. He just likes doing boring things with me, I guess.

Anyway, tonight, I'm sleeping alone. I'm not looking forward to it, but I know that I need it.

My question to those who read this is: when does it change from "sleeping over" to "living together?"

Who needs sleep?

Good Morning.
Thanks to question girl, I realized that I haven't blogged in a few days.
That's because I've been busy seeing Marc every single day since my last entry.

Friday - we met my parents and had dinner at the Olive Garden.
Saturday - he made dinner for me and we just watched a movie on his couch.
Sunday - he helped me grade papers and we sat on my couch.
Monday - I went to his house, he got dinner for us, we watched my favorite shows, "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Class" and then we snuggled all night.
Tuesday - I hurried up and did some homework, he came over and we watched American Idol.
Wednesday - He came over, I made dinner for him, and we watched American Idol.
We are both very tired, but very happy.

I start parent- teacher conferences this morning, so I better get ready!
Have a great day and I'll try to keep you updated more regularly!

:)

Where is your line?

OK, so I have told Marc that I'm saving sex.
Tonight, he says, "so, what exactly don't you do?"

I buried my face in his chest!
I said, "I knew you were going to ask me that. You haven't crossed any lines yet. I would let you know if I was uncomfortable."
He says, "This is killing me! I just wasn't sure."

I didn't know how to answer him.
Finally, I told him where my line was.
He said OK.

I'm glad that he can be an adult as apparently I cannot.

Meet the Parents

I arranged a meeting between Marc and my parents.

We are going out to dinner tonight and driving past my parents house.
So, I said, "Let's stop by. I have a few things to pick up and drop off."

My parents are delighted! (Of course they are. I am a 31 year old, never married woman who doesn't bring men home.) Marc says, "OH! I get to meet the parents first?" He has been telling me how all of his parents (2 parents, 2 step parents) can't wait to meet me. I told him that I finally told my mom about him on Sunday and I figured she'd tell my dad. He told his mom about me after the first date. I'm not sure why I cooked up this idea of him meeting my parents right away. I think because I'm nervous about meeting his parents and I figured that if he has already met mine, it won't be that big of a deal. MAYBE? Or maybe I'm hoping something will go wrong and then we can be done. I'm really starting to care about him and that sort of scares me.

I think he might be a little bit nervous. He says, "Did you tell them that I'm a hill-billy from the backwoods?" I said, "No, I just said you were a big old country boy." He laughed. I said, "Why?" He said, "Because you said that I'm not like the guys you usually date." I said, "Well, this is true, however, you are like the guy my sister married." That is true in some ways. Matt and Marc have similar farming experiences.... but that's about where the similarities end.

Anyway. That's tonight. I'm quite excited!

The Talk

Tonight, we had "the talk."
Does he want to remarry? YES
Do I want to marry? YES
Do I want to have children? Not sure, probably not.
Does he want more children? Not sure, probably not!

Oh, man. This is going way too well.

The sickness

So, my mother took me to the ER today to get some medicine for this cold.
I wanted to just go to the doctor tomorrow, but my dad yelled at me, told me I should have gone last week and told me that I'd never get in to see the doctor tomorrow.

So, I asked to speak to my mother and she took me.

I got a Zpack and the doctor thinks I have sinusitis. I, however, disagree. My sinuses are fine. My glands are totally swollen - it hurts to swallow -- and my chest hurts. Whatever. The zpack works on any infection, so it will work.

The bad news? All pharmacies are closed at this time on Sunday, so I have to wait until tomorrow.

The good news? Marc wanted to come over and hold me. I didn't let him because I need to rest, but I thought it was SWEET!

Boys, Sex, Bridesmaids Dresses, My Body

So, Marc came over last night, too.
We watched Eight Below and sat under a blanket. It was so nice.
I love being held.
I love when he says, "Damn, you are so good lookin'."

He stayed until almost 1:00. He had to get up for work at 4:45....... I love that he stayed until I threw him out. Gary always thought he would turn into a pumpkin at 10:00 - he ran from here when the clock struck!

I love when he touches my sides....it makes me want to continue with my weight loss. I love the motivation.

Tracy and I went shopping today, again. She ordered her wedding dress and we chose what we THINK will be the bridesmaid dress. It is beautiful, but really hugs the waist. If you don't know me, I'm thick in the waist. Now, I've been losing in this area, but still thick. Again, motivated to continue to work out.

Can I be back at -65 pounds by August? Probably...that's about 18 more pounds. I've been working out like crazy and am totally motivated by the dress and by Marc's hands.

Question Girl -- your comment totally makes me like him more. If we break up, do you want me to direct him to you? (By the way, he knows NOTHING about computers. I had to teach him about Ipods and laptops last weekend. He thought it was a "labtop." He says it makes sense now!)

Sick

OK, so I'm sick.
I stayed home today.
On his break, Marc sends a text asking how I am.
After work, he sends a text asking if I'm OK and if I need anything.
Then, he asks if he can see me.

I love this!

I told him to come over. We had pizza, chips, and pop! And we cuddled on the couch...germs and all.

Every day

I like him more every day.
I've thought about this (and was asked by a good friend today) and I know that I'm starting to like him and not just the idea of him.

So, I spoke my peace....

Friends have been saying that I'm leading Marc on because I haven't been honest about my expectations.

So, last night, on the phone, I said what I needed to. I told him that I liked him and didn't want to hurt him, but had a few things to say.

I told him that church was important to me and I needed to be with someone for who it is important as well. He said it was important and that he would go. (Not exactly what I'm looking for, but getting there.)
Second, I told him that I'm saving sex for marriage. His answer: "OK." pause. "Sex ain't everything." Me: "I know, but it seems to be part of the deal with people our age and for me it isn't." Him: "OK."

So, I feel much better because I've been honest and not misleading about my expectations.

We talked about a few other things. He is worried that I'll get upset when the weather gets warmer and he'll be working 6 days a week and long, long hours. I told him that if that is his job, then that's his job. He worries that we'll have plans and he'll have to call and cancel because he has to work late. I told him that that isn't a problem, but it would be a problem if he called me to cancel because he was going to the bar with the guys.

He was amazed that I don't care that he hunts. I told him that I don't want to be told that I can't shop with my friends or things like that, so why would I care that he wants to go hunting. If he loves it, he should do it.

He says, "I hope that's true because I've lost a few girlfriends and an ex-wife over hunting and my job." I just laughed and laughed.

It makes me feel good that he is worried about that.

Does anyone read this?

I'm not sure that anyone reads this.
I know 2 people do, but I don't know how often.

I'm not sure why I do this....maybe just for me.

Not so bad

Ok, so Marc isn't so bad.
We had a great dinner, great conversation, and I let him kiss me some more.

I can't take a compliment though. WAIT-- I can't recognize one, even.
He calls me on the way home. He asks how my day was. I ask how his was. His response, "It was OK. It will be better in a little while now." I said, "Why, because you aren't at work?" He says, "NO, because I'm going to dinner with youuuu." Me, to myself, "YOU IDIOT!" To him, "Oh, you are so sweet."

I'M AN IDIOT!

He was telling me that he was saying all day that they had to quit at 5:00 because he had to get home. He said they were teasing him about having a hot date and he told them that was right. I handled that a little bit better!

I thought I would let him chase me.

OK, on Sunday, Marc asked me if I wanted to go to dinner sometime this week. I said, "yes." He asked what days weren't good. I said, "Thursday."

Yesterday, at 3:40 (when he thought school was out) he sent me a text that asked if I had a good day and did I have plans. During the day, I had made plans to work out with Allison and then to grocery shop with Tracy. (We hadn't been to the grocery store in about 3 weeks!) I told him that I had made plans. I called him on the way to work out. He didn't ask about another night this week. He doesn't get home from work until 6:30 or 7:00 and said he didn't want to make me wait that late to eat.

Around 9:30, I got a good night text.
I responded with a text that said, "Will I get to see you this week?"
He said, "Do you want to do something Saturday?"
I WAS DISAPPOINTED- which I had to laugh at myself about.
Me: I guess I can wait until Saturday.
Marc: Have you ever eaten at Hickory Grill? When do you want to go?
Me: I love the Hickory Grill. How about tomorrow?
He called me. (Wait, wasn't I letting him chase me? Didn't I just force him to make a date this week? Oh brother!)

I wrote to my pastor yesterday about this situation. (divorce and child)
He sent back a thoughtful response about h0w he thought it was good that I'm using my head to guide and guard my heart. He says he mailed me an article with some Biblically based points of view on divorce and remarriage. He wants me to struggle with it a little bit and then he wants to meet to talk and pray. (He is on study leave for the next 2 weeks -- I'm glad I caught him before he is unavailable.)

Not as much to say

So, since Thanksgiving, I've had many things to say and tons to post.

I haven't had as much to say since the New Year started. I've forced myself to do it AND I know that they aren't as content rich as in the past.

I wish I had more to say, but I'm glad that the heartache is dulling. Although through all of this, the love hasn't changed. I'm wondering when it will....when will I love him less or not at all?

Confusion....

Gary totally confuses me. HE wanted to be friends, now that I have been trying really hard for that, he can't seem to handle it.

Marc on the other hand, is still calling quite consistently. I do not enjoy talking on the phone with him because we seem to have nothing to talk about on the phone. (We have stuff to talk about in person, weird.) I decided yesterday that I think I'm going to try it at least through Valentine's Day. I'm not sure, though. I THINK.

However, if Gary called me, I'd run back to him in a hearbeat.

I am pa-the-tic!

OK, the last call was Tuesday.
I thought I would get Wednesday off. He didn't call on Thursday either, so (being the needy girl who wants to make sure she gets the attention she wants) I sent him a text. We texted back and forth a few times and then I went to bed.

Tonight, he sends a text. Then, calls me.

I was happy about it until I learned that he was with his kid -- in the truck! I told him that maybe this wasn't the best time to talk. He said, "Oh, we talk all the time" -- meaning he talks to his kid all the time. I just didn't feel right about it. So, I said I had to get my homework started.

I'm loving it!

Marc didn't call today and I'm so glad!
I'm liking him more every day that he doesn't call me.
Weird?

I just like being given my space!
Whew!

Happy New Year - 2 things.

Happy New Year!
I can't believe that it has been 3 days since I posted!

I've been overwhelmed.
I went out with Marc again on Saturday night, which I told you.

Sunday, I went for a walk, got home, took a shower, and discovered a text that said:
"Good Morning, Sunshine."
I said, "SHIT!" "SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!"

Later, he called me DURING CHURCH. (I had the phone on vibrate.)
I called him back and we had a quick chat. Justin was picking us up to go to the local bar to watch the last Steelers game, so I rushed him off the phone. He said, "Call me after the game." I was in such a hurry that I said OK. Then, I was mad at myself.

So, I decided not to call. Well, then he called me. I ignored the call and he left some message about the Steeler game. (He doesn't like Pittsburgh.) I waited a few hours and sent a text that said something like, "Now that's how you win a football game. No time to talk-- call me in a few days. Happy New Year!"

I get a response that says, "Did I do something wrong?"

Me: "Just take your time."

Him (paraphrased): "OK, I don't want to mess this up. You are very cute and nice and I've had more fun in the last 2 days that I have had in a long time."

ME (not texting) : ARGHHHHH!

I didn't respond. I didn't think it was necessary. That night, I got a text that said, "Happy New Year." I didn't respond. I didn't think it was necessary.

He respected me and didn't call me yesterday. I was so glad -- I'll tell you about that in a minute.

He did call tonight. I was having dinner with Tracy and Mandy, so I asked if I could call him back. I did. We had a nice, 28 minute phone call. It was so much more relaxed. He wasn't pressuring me at all. Finally, I said that I needed to get ready for school tomorrow. He said, "You are really busy this week, aren't you?" I said yes and reminded him of what I've got going on. He said that he was hoping that we could have dinner sometime and would I wait to eat with him since he doesn't get home until about 7:00. I said that would be nice, just not this week. He seemed ok with that. He asked if next week was good and I said yes. We left it at that. I don't have to worry about this weekend because he has his son and I'm very busy.

THE OTHER BIG NEWS: Tracy and Justin got engaged! YEAH! They are thinking about a summer wedding. They got engaged on New Years Eve and have been hot on the phone making arrangements! It is cute-- Justin is more excited than she is. He is already making his guest list!

I better get to bed.
Love you!