Contemplating

It has been very close to a month since the break-up, and I am finding that I've not taken it very well. I wanted to keep my dignity and wait for him to realize how dumb he is. When I call him or text him, I'm not giving him that chance. I haven't quite closed the gap between heartbroken ex girlfriend and psycho, but I've found myself teetering on the edge.

I want to be able to say that I've done nothing wrong.

Yesterday, Christmas Day, all that I wanted was to talk to him. I wanted him to call me. So, later in the day, I sent a text. He responded a few times, and then we were done. I was too proud to call.

He is my measuring stick. I went to a party on Friday. There was a single guy there who people have wanted to fix me up with. I was friendly and tried to be open about it. The whole time, I kept thinking about how he wasn't Gary. I was comparing him and his traits to Gary. Will it always be like this?

Merry Day After Christmas.