Ok, when the ex's boyfriend comes home from work, he has more info.
He says he saw the kids drag all of the stuff in SUNDAY NIGHT. It was like 10:30 (yes, they let the kids roam the park that late at night!) and he called the kids in. They started dragging the stuff in and he told them to return it. They said that they lady's granddaughter had given it to them.
Also, the 10 year old sister had at some point taken the ex's digital camera, taken pictures, and then hidden the camera! ( I guess she DID have more information.)
The ex's boyfriend (who is an ass, but MIGHT be right) thinks the granddaughter gave the stuff away, then when cornered said the kids stole it.
What I'm upset about, and I told Garrett this, is that he didn't tell the truth.
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4 comments:
You're right about wanting him to tell the truth. It seems the truth is pretty complicated and they may have even told Garrett one thing, then another, then something else so maybe he isn't even sure what's true himself. This will be a great teachable moment though- next time something fishy is going on you can say, "remember that whole thing w/ all that stuff fsom so-n-so? Is what you're doing now going to turn into that? What's REALLY going on?" and then he can stop & think, "yeah, that was a mess. I'll do this instead."
What consequences did you guys decide on? Why s it so much easier w/ other people's kids? At camp, if they had food fights, they cleaned up the mess as the consequence. I am going out of my mind w/ cause and effect w/ Carrie. She is 4 now and you'd think she'd be getting it, but she does not get it and is making me NUTS. Parenting can truly suck. And then she'll say something fun like, "I have a good remembory" and I'll think, "yeah, I'll keep you awhile longer." ;) Just stay consistent even though it is SO much easier to give up and give in!
i agree w/ you that
1) the punishment needs to fit the crime
2) garret needs to learn that lying gets him nowhere - or in more trouble
but ultimatly, since you are asking "us" for advice... (and i would have posted this w/ the 1st post but i just read all of them at the same time)..... as you aren't garret's mom and you know it - nor do you want to try to be - make sure when you are involved in enforcing consiquences that you word it as though you are backing Marc up....
unfortuntaly, sooner, but hopefully a LONG LONG LONG time later garret will probably eventually start playing the "you are not my mom" card but if he knows you are consistantly going to back marc up it may help stave off him trying to play you 2 off of each other for a little bit, and as long as he knows you aren't going to try to pretend to take over as "mom 2" he might not try to play that card for a little longer either
Good point, Question Girl =) You're so right! Carrie already plays the one against the other parent game, and she's only 4!
val - it's weird for me, i know i am not a parent.. but i grew up w/ a psycholigist as a parent and in all my years as a therapist i have seen some really good parents and some REALLY REALLY bad parents...
some of my best friends have actually come to me for parenting advice... i am always really careful before i answer - especially when i know what i am going to say to them is exactly the opposite of what they are doing
but i AM good at my job - and i KNOW manipulative kids, and how to get them --- because i was one of them
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