Ok, so I'm feeling pretty bad about myself.
He has been a little grouchy lately.
I was getting the feeling that he didn't want to be with me.
I called him a little while ago. We had some small chit chat. Finally, I asked him if he was going to watch "the game" alone. He asked me if I wanted to watch it with him. I said, "Umm. Maybe. I get the feeling that you are feeling smothered by me." He said, "A little."
We went on to talk and he says he feels like he isn't focusing on God. He made sure to say that he wasn't totally blaming me (which means he is partially blaming me, I guess). He kept saying that he doesn't want our relationship to be like everyone else's. I made him tell me specifically what he meant. It all comes down to SEX. He acknowledged that he sends me mixed messages. Of course, I cried. I didn't want to, but the tears came out. I felt bad for my part in this and I felt bad because I didn't want it to change.
He wants to get a Christian dating book. I told him that I hate those books because they aren't designed for adults! They are written for teenagers and some of the things in there are unrealistic for adults.
So, now, I have a headache and I don't know what to do. To make matters worse, tomorrow is my birthday and I don't know if I'll see him. AND I don't know if I want to.
He kept asking if I was mad. Not mad, hurt.
Dating is hard.
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Oh honey. Dating IS hard. Happy birthday to my sweet Mary Alice! I figured you would have plans for sure. I think you have a good point about the books being for teenagers, but I haven't looked recently and there very well may be ones geared toward single adults who struggle w/ what you're struggling with. Does he have a men's group or anything that he's a part of? You both definitely need separate things to discuss issues like these- some safe single sex places w/ people you trust and who know what they're talking about. I'm sorry mixed signals are happening too. Part of being human beings, I guess. They do happen and they're hard to deal with. I love you and wish there was a magic formula for perfect, healthy, God-centered relationships, but all I can say is that they are a ton of work. And even once you think you have yours figured out, the balance shifts and things start slipping. We're not God-centered right now. Not sure what is IN the center... the kids probably. Life is a juggling act. Take comfort that God knows everything there is to know about everything and that what he knows is best! For all involved. =) Happy, happy birthday! I love you!
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