Another Thursday

Hi.
Tonight was WW night. I talked to Marc on the way home from school and told him that I'd call him when I got home from the meeting, sometime between 7:00 and 8:00. We were on our way home and at 7:15, my phone is ringing. I decided to ignore it. He leaves a message. Then, I get a text that says something like, "You can't talk for a second when you are with them?" This made me angry. Then, he calls again. So, I answer. He asks if I know where his insurance book is because his tooth (which he pulled himself earlier this week with pliers) is infected and he is in great pain. I tell him that I don't. Then, he says, (really snotty) "Sorry to bother you when you are with your friends." I didn't say anything. (We are all in a car together and they are listening!) I said that I was sorry for not answering because I didn't realize that he was in pain. He says, "I love it when you ignore me like that." I told him that I'd be home in 15 minutes and I'd call him then.

When I called he apologized for being mean. It was the pain. It probably was.

I do feel badly that he is in pain and I ignored him, but all that I ask for is one night a week.

In other news: he asked me to move in yesterday.
I cannot.

We've also been talking about marriage.

Anyway...

He misses me

OK, so tonight is Thursday. That means Weight Watchers with friends. (Usually, I look forward to this, but "friends" have been less than supportive about Marc, so I've been hating Thursdays, but ANYWAY.)

Marc called twice (once in response to a text that I sent requesting a photo text of his kid) and texted twice. I tried to be slick about it, but I could see the groans and looks from friends.

I talked to him when I got home and asked why he called me. The arrangement was that I would call him when I got home. He said that he thought I would be home. (He isn't angry or anything.) Then, I said that my friends would think that he had me on a short leash or thought he had to check up on me. His response? (strongly) "Just tell them that I miss you." I said that they wouldn't understand that. He said, "Who cares? Just tell them that."

I LOVE being with him every day and basically living with him. BUT -- I do not want to be smothered. To this point, I don't feel that way, but I worry that it will turn into that!

Any thoughts?

Update

So, I was waiting to update until someone noticed that it had been a month.
Way to go, Val!

Why haven't I updated? Well, truth be told, I've not been near my computer very much in the last month. Basically, I get home from work, work out, and head to Marc's where I sleep over unless he has Garrett. We have been having this big debate about whether I live there or not. I say no because I have nothing there other than a toothbrush. He says please bring things and start voting about decor, cleaning, organization. I say that I'm not doing those things without marriage, that it is his place to do what he wants with. It is ongoing.

We had Easter dinner with my family last night...my sister is in town, but will leave early today as she has to work tomorrow. Poor Garrett was the only kid. He dealt with it pretty well.

Today, we are going to his aunt's for lunch. I'm nervous about this and not really looking forward to it. I want to get to know his sister, but she has to work and isn't coming until later.

The challenges of life....

Passing Tests

OK, so, Marc continues to pass tests.
I'm not testing him, but as we progress, I realize things.

I think I said before that when I cooked for Gary, he would say, "This is good, but it would be better if..., etc." When I cook for Marc, he says, "You are going to spoil me by cooking like this! I could get used to this!"

When I would send cards to Gary, he would say, "Why do you waste your money?" When I send them to Marc, he says, "Got your card... you are so cute! Thank you."

I do not have regular mood swings with my period, but at times, I can be irrationally emotional. This past week, for example, included an occurrence like this. Tuesday, I left school early to go to the doctor. I was finished there by 3:00, so I did some grocery shopping and headed to Marc's. I started some laundry and began cooking dinner. He had a crappy day at work and was so excited to come home and find me cooking. We had dinner (which he LOVED) and then retired to the couch. Soon, he was snoring. No problem, he is tired, I think. So, I continue laundry, clean up, run the dishwasher, fix the coffee for the morning, try to be loud to wake him up, put my pj's on. He does not wake up...well, he stirs and goes back to sleep. After 2 hours and me waking him up 3 times and asking him to go to bed, I've had it! The third time, he says, "The dog needs to go out before we go to bed" and rolls back over. So, I put the dog out, wait for him to get up, let the dog back in, lock up, go over to him and say, "OK, the dog is ready, the coffee is ready, I'm ready to put my clothes back on and go home." His eyes pop open and he says, "OK, I'm coming." We get into bed, and I start crying. He begs to know. Finally, I tell him that I went there to be with him, not to listen to him snore and do all of his household chores. Then, I blurt out, "Is this what it is going to be like for the rest of our lives?" He says, "No! This is the first time in 2 MONTHS that I've slept like that. You know I'll help you." We get through it, and later he asks if I'm OK because I've been emotional lately. I say I might be getting my period and we laugh and he says he thought so. We've been laughing about it for days now. I was upset that he was sleeping, which is OK, but was totally emotional and overreacted. He was so understanding about it. Patient and kind, too.

Anyway, that's another test. Gary would have told me that I was crazy and wouldn't have been kind at all.

This week, I have noticed my feelings turning towards knowing that I want to be with Marc for always!

Oh, and this week, he said, "I love you" and I said it back!

Did you know...

that you only have to take birth control pills for one week before they are effective? I was thinking I had months or at least one month! Good gravy! Good think I didn't tell him that I got it.

I'm tired of living in 2 houses.

So, we've been dating for 2 months.
I (by far) spend more time at his house than mine....but my roommate is not nice to him.

I'm so tired of having things in 2 places...well, of having nothing at his place. I refuse to live there (so, I just sleep there and put last night's clothes back on) and I've only got a toothbrush there. He is after me to take some things there, but I feel like that will really be admitting that we could be close to living together.

Every day he asks me to come over and says how well he sleeps when I am next to him. While I love sleeping next to him, I sleep best alone when I know I can sleep until 7:00 AM, not 4:40! He wants me to stay in bed and keep sleeping, but once I'm up, I'm up.

Yesterday, at his place, we had friends over. The men went to get the pizza and we women stayed behind with the kids. While they were gone, she said to me, "Looks like he is fixing this place up for you!" (He got new carpet and has been working on some home improvement projects while being laid off these last few weeks.) I've thought the same thing and addressed it with him. That is his ex-wife's house. She picked it out. I know that I spend a lot of time there and that I sleep there, but I do not think that I can live there.

His Answers

1. He says he'll go with me. I want him to want to go for himself, not for me. Sticky situation.

2. His past is sordid. I know there were many. He was a wild man before he met me.

3. I think he gets tested regularly -- at a later time, I will need to ask more details.

4. I want to be on birth control-- in case. (Plus, it MIGHT make my period regular.) I'm not sure if I want to wait forever, but I want to be prepared.

5. I think he does love me. I won't ask the question. I know better. I'm going to let him say it first. He told me the other night that he isn't "totally in love, but I'm on my way." That's good enough for me.

My Questions

1. I can not be a woman who goes to church while her husband stays home. Can you deal with that?

2. What is your sexual past like? Just how many partners HAVE you had?

3. Why did you get tested last summer?

4. Do you know that I'm getting birth control next week but not telling you yet?

5. Do you love me?

An Idea for You

This isn't the exact pendant, but you get the idea....

Happy Valentine's Day

When I woke up this morning, I called Marc.
His first words to me were "Happy Valentine's Day."
The funny thing? I hadn't yet remembered what day it was. Isn't he sweet?

I can't wait to see him today.

School is canceled again today. So, I'm going to do some much needed cleaning in my bedroom and then focus on getting all dolled up for our date.

I'm kind of nervous about the drive in this snow. I just keep telling myself that I can take it slowly and carefully and I'll be fine.

Happy Valentine's Day. I'll report tomorrow about the rest of my gifts!

Pre-Valentine's Day

Good morning. No school today.

Last night, Marc and I ran to "town" for a few things. He had been planning to buy my Valentine's day gift tonight, but was worried because of all the snow that was predicted. I suggested we stop at the mall and split up. Fine.

So, we went into the mall. Allison called me as we were going in, so I sat on a bench and talked to her. I didn't pay attention to where he was going. ... I wanted to be surprised. He came out and she asked to talk to him. So, I gave him the phone. They were talking. So, then, he said he couldn't tell her what he got because I was listening. So, I walked away. He came and found me, hung up and we left. As we were pulling out of the lot, my phone rang again. It was Allison. She asked to talk to Marc again. She told him that he had to exchange what he bought. So, we turned around and went back to the mall. He wanted me to go into the store. I didn't want to because I wanted to be surprised. So, I called my friend, Carrie. She couldn't talk long, though, so I called Allison and said, "Don't tell me what it is, but please tell me that it isn't an engagement ring." She laughed and said, "It isn't."

Marc came out of the store and we left. He was sure that I knew what I was getting. I really didn't. He said, "I know that Allison told you." I told him that she didn't. He said, "What are you smiling about? Did you ask her?" I laughed and said that I just called and wanted to make sure that it wasn't a ring.

At his place, he gave me a wrapped gift. I wanted to wait until tomorrow night, but he wanted me to "wear it tomorrow because Allison will want to see it." So, I took it. I opened it and found this BEAUTIFUL diamond heart necklace. It was white gold. I put it on. Then, he told me that he had bought a yellow gold necklace. Allison had asked this question and hinted that I don't wear yellow gold. He didn't get the hint. So, that's why she called back. (That's a good friend!) Anyway, it is so beautiful.

He makes me happy.

I met Garrett

Ok, tonight, I met Garrett.

I went to their house. We went to dinner. We did some shopping for carpet at Lowe's. We went bowling. We went back to Marc's house to play Uno. I left.

I cried. A little.

This is so overwhelming. I'm really starting to like Marc. I mean, like care for him more than anyone....including how I felt about Gary. Now, there is this whole other person included in the equation.

Now, I liked Garrett. He liked me -- according to Marc. Marc says he is so happy because we met and had fun and like each other.

Can I be a step mother? Can I put someone else first? Do I want to do either of these things? Sometimes YES and sometimes NO!

Future of Cohabitation

Val asked some good questions about the future for my roommate and for me.
Well, when you ask about Tracy and Justin living together, I assume you mean once they are married. First, she will not live with him because he lives with his mother. (Although many predict that his mom will eventually live with them.) They have looked at some houses to buy or rent once they are married. She cried when she found out that our preacher won't marry you if you are living together -- can you believe some people think that is living in sin?!

As far as the future of Marc and I living together. We will not. I will not. He thinks you should have to live together before you are married. I do not. (Although the line gets fuzzy when one stays over as much as I do.) He has a house on his own property. So, it wouldn't make sense for him to move in with me. I do not want to live in the house that he built for his ex-wife, however. So, that does pose a problem.

Not to worry -- we've quite some time to think about our living situation, as this whole relationship is new.

In other news.....Marc didn't work today. So, he came to my school to get my car and go wash it! It was SO DIRTY that you couldn't see my license plate. The sweetness! He was the talk of the school! It was so cute! Makes me like him more every day!

Next, I'm meeting Garrett (his son) tomorrow night. We are going out for Chinese food and bowling. A few weeks ago, I made Marc some chocolate chip cookies. Garrett ate the whole plate and asked Marc to get him some more. So, I thought that I'd make him some cookies since we are meeting tomorrow. Marc says to me tonight, "I told Garrett about bowling tomorrow night and he is excited." I say, "Did you tell him about the cookies? I think that's why he is excited." He says, "Well, yeah, I did tell him."

I'm so close to being in love with this guy!

Another sleep over

I don't have keys to his place because he doesn't lock the doors.

I have just a toothbrush there.

He has nothing here.

I slept over again last night. It wasn't the plan. I was getting ready to come home and my roommate called to pick a fight. She can't be happy for me that I found someone who makes me happy and wants to be with me. I invited her and her fiance to a night out in 2 weeks and she feels like I only invited her because I was already going and it would be easy to combine. I have invited her out several times and she has turned me down. When I asked for this night, even, she was so wishy washy. I'm so ready for her to get married and move out. Then, she'll be Justin's problem.

What constitutes "living together?"

OK, so I'm getting a bad rep for being a poor blogger.
(Or LAZY, according to Question Girl.)

Here's the thing. He doesn't have the Internet and this will be the first night that I've slept in my own bed since last Wednesday. (I KNOW!)

I am sleeping here tonight. He is coming to visit, but will not sleep over. There are 2 reasons for this: his dogs and my roommate.

He thinks that a couple should live together before they get married. I do not. He thinks we're living together because we had 5 consecutive sleep overs. I think I was just snuggling up to him, putting last night's clothes on, and coming home for a shower and work.

Regardless, I need to stop it. I do love sleeping next to someone.

He met my friends on Saturday. They all liked him. I drank A LOT and my friends were quite worried that he would take advantage of me. He didn't. They said, "We like him, but we just didn't know yet if he would take advantage." One friend said, "Don't let him slip away!"

I met his family on Sunday. They were really nice. They like me a lot-- because I am making him "settle down." I really haven't done anything. He just likes doing boring things with me, I guess.

Anyway, tonight, I'm sleeping alone. I'm not looking forward to it, but I know that I need it.

My question to those who read this is: when does it change from "sleeping over" to "living together?"

Who needs sleep?

Good Morning.
Thanks to question girl, I realized that I haven't blogged in a few days.
That's because I've been busy seeing Marc every single day since my last entry.

Friday - we met my parents and had dinner at the Olive Garden.
Saturday - he made dinner for me and we just watched a movie on his couch.
Sunday - he helped me grade papers and we sat on my couch.
Monday - I went to his house, he got dinner for us, we watched my favorite shows, "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Class" and then we snuggled all night.
Tuesday - I hurried up and did some homework, he came over and we watched American Idol.
Wednesday - He came over, I made dinner for him, and we watched American Idol.
We are both very tired, but very happy.

I start parent- teacher conferences this morning, so I better get ready!
Have a great day and I'll try to keep you updated more regularly!

:)

Where is your line?

OK, so I have told Marc that I'm saving sex.
Tonight, he says, "so, what exactly don't you do?"

I buried my face in his chest!
I said, "I knew you were going to ask me that. You haven't crossed any lines yet. I would let you know if I was uncomfortable."
He says, "This is killing me! I just wasn't sure."

I didn't know how to answer him.
Finally, I told him where my line was.
He said OK.

I'm glad that he can be an adult as apparently I cannot.

Meet the Parents

I arranged a meeting between Marc and my parents.

We are going out to dinner tonight and driving past my parents house.
So, I said, "Let's stop by. I have a few things to pick up and drop off."

My parents are delighted! (Of course they are. I am a 31 year old, never married woman who doesn't bring men home.) Marc says, "OH! I get to meet the parents first?" He has been telling me how all of his parents (2 parents, 2 step parents) can't wait to meet me. I told him that I finally told my mom about him on Sunday and I figured she'd tell my dad. He told his mom about me after the first date. I'm not sure why I cooked up this idea of him meeting my parents right away. I think because I'm nervous about meeting his parents and I figured that if he has already met mine, it won't be that big of a deal. MAYBE? Or maybe I'm hoping something will go wrong and then we can be done. I'm really starting to care about him and that sort of scares me.

I think he might be a little bit nervous. He says, "Did you tell them that I'm a hill-billy from the backwoods?" I said, "No, I just said you were a big old country boy." He laughed. I said, "Why?" He said, "Because you said that I'm not like the guys you usually date." I said, "Well, this is true, however, you are like the guy my sister married." That is true in some ways. Matt and Marc have similar farming experiences.... but that's about where the similarities end.

Anyway. That's tonight. I'm quite excited!

The Talk

Tonight, we had "the talk."
Does he want to remarry? YES
Do I want to marry? YES
Do I want to have children? Not sure, probably not.
Does he want more children? Not sure, probably not!

Oh, man. This is going way too well.

The sickness

So, my mother took me to the ER today to get some medicine for this cold.
I wanted to just go to the doctor tomorrow, but my dad yelled at me, told me I should have gone last week and told me that I'd never get in to see the doctor tomorrow.

So, I asked to speak to my mother and she took me.

I got a Zpack and the doctor thinks I have sinusitis. I, however, disagree. My sinuses are fine. My glands are totally swollen - it hurts to swallow -- and my chest hurts. Whatever. The zpack works on any infection, so it will work.

The bad news? All pharmacies are closed at this time on Sunday, so I have to wait until tomorrow.

The good news? Marc wanted to come over and hold me. I didn't let him because I need to rest, but I thought it was SWEET!